Reflection

    First, let me summarize the main contents of this novel. The novel is mainly a story that a woman who has been secretly in love with a man for a long long time, even for a lifetime. And I divided it into 5 parts. The first part is when she was a 13-year-old girl, and it was the first time that she met the man who was her new neighbor. It was that year she fell in love with that man. Part two is when she grew up and came back where she lived before. She met the man at a cafe. Then they had three nights together. Part 3 is she was pregnant with his kid. She gave birth to the kid and raised him by herself. Part 4 is when the woman encounters that man again. But no matter how many times they met, the man never recognized her. Part 5 is when the flu killed her son, and she wrote this letter to tell about her feelings and show her love before she died.

    Personally, I think the woman is moonstruck and self-abasing. In the novel, she describes her love like that. "But I am sure that no one else has ever loved you so slavishly, with such doglike fidelity, with such devotion, as I did and do."

    She knew her love was hopeless but subservient. She knew she was one among his hundreds of women, one adventure, and one link in an endless chain. She loved that man more than herself and lost herself.

    I appreciated her love and her persistence. I don't advocate it. I think it was so absurd that a woman born a kid for a man who didn't love her and didn't even know her. And she sold herself in order to bring up the kid. It was very absurd. And that man, is a philanderer, is a playboy. He had many women. I don't think he deserves that woman's love for him. 

    And last but not least, we should love ourselves first and then love others. Don't lose yourself and be trapped by others' feelings. Don't be a lovestruck person.

2023-09-25

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