Thoughts

While reading this book, some lyrics which is strongly connected to the story kept popping out in my mind. Consequently, I’ve decided to combine some lyrics with my thoughts. When the woman first encountered the writer, she was enchanted by his great talent and majestic look. His magical touch brought her back to life, which made the woman completely fell in love with him. He was the center of her life, illuminated by a shining spotlight. When she first walked through the door with him, she felt something about home. His sweet disposition and her wide-eyed gaze. Even autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place, she could still picture the night they spent together. However, it was long gone, and the magic was not there anymore, she might be okay, but later she would find herself not fine at all. He said that their relationship was love when she left her, but he actually never called it what it was.. He was casually cruel in the name of being honest to break her like a promise. Many years later, she was paralyzed by this relationship. She couldn’t stay alone with her dead child without pouring her heart out to someone. Therefore, she chose the man, who had never remembered her, to write. Maybe he would say, “I don’t understand” and she would say, “I know you don’t.” She thought a cure would come through in time, but later she found it wouldn’t. She still remembered the room which they loved each other all too well. And now she was sitting in the dark, writing and wondering if it was time. She kept building and cherishing everything that was related to him. But now she was even getting tired of being a phoenix not only rising from the asheus, but also mending her gashes. Because the writer, just had dealt the final blow. Now she was infected by his deceased, loved one, she couldn’t find a pulse, her heart wouldn’t start anymore for him. The room which she was sitting with her son’s body was thick with loss and despair. She knew her pain was such an imposition to the writer. She gave him all her best and her endless empathy. But what all she got was bleeding for being his frontline soldiers. She could be the best thing at someone’s party, but she chose him to be her religious faith. For so long, she was longing for his response, as if saying “Do something, babe, say something.” “Choose something, babe, I got nothing to believe.” But what she got were words striking her head, and said somehow “You’ll get older, but her lovers will stay at your age.” This story was about a toxic love, and also, a sad beautiful tragic. It was heartbreaking and melancholy. She was like a cardigan under someone’s bed, he sometimes put her on and said she was her favourite. But actually, her love meant nothing to him. She deserves a better man.