为什么矮矬穷没人爱
Let’s play a mating game.
让我们来玩一个配对游戏吧！
Put 100 men and 100 women in a sealed room. On each person’s forehead, write a random number from 1 to 10, and call that their ‘attractiveness’.
把100个男人和100个女人关在一个封闭的房间内。从1到10，随机选取一个数字，写在每个人的额头上，把该数字称为此人“吸引指数”。
You’re not able to see the number on your forehead, and no-one will tell you what it is either. The game is to pair up with the highest ranked person of the opposite sex that you can.
你不能看到自己额头上的数字，别人也不会告诉你。游戏规则就是尽可能与排名最高（数字最大）的异性配对。
Ready? Go.
准备好了吗？开始。
Pretty much immediately, any nines and tens are surrounded by huge crowds vying for their attention.
马上，所有的“9”和“10”就会被大批的人包围，这些人都争先恐后地希望得到这些高排名人的注意力。
If the crowds flock towards you, you know your score must be pretty damn good. If strangers flee as you approach – not so much.
如果别人都聚集在你周围，那么你可以知道你的数字绝对非常高。但是当你靠近别人，如果那些人马上逃之夭夭，你的数字恐怕就不是那么理想了。
People will lower their expectations when rebuffed, and raise them when surrounded. If every single person you meet wants to pair with you, you’ll probably never settle for less than a ten.
被断然拒绝之后，人们总是会降低要求，当身边“花团锦簇”时，又会提高标准。如果你见到的所有的单身人士都想与你配对，你也许会一直等到10的出现，才会安顿下来。
But for everyone else, you’re forced to guess and gamble. And the clue to your attractiveness is how needy other people act around you.
但是对于其他的每一个人，你不得不去猜测，去赌一把。你吸引力指数的线索就是你周围的人表现地有多么需要你。
Conversely, if someone is aloof with their affections, they probably think they can do better. They may also be wrong, but in both cases we’re wired to interpret this as feedback on our own attractiveness. You’re trying to guess the number on your head, and their feedback is all you have.
相反的是，如果有人对他们的吸引力漠不关心，也许就在于他们认为自己可以做的更好。他们也有可能是错的。但是在这两种情况下，我们都潜意识的把这种反映理解成我们自身吸引力的反馈。你试图猜出你头上的数字，而别人的反馈就是你所有的依据。
You can’t help being influenced by this, and it’s one reason why ‘playing it cool’ is such an attractive trait, even if it’s such an easily contrived one. Being needy essentially says “you’re so much better than me, please pick me”. Not a great sales pitch.
你没有办法不被这个所影响，这也是为什么“耍酷”是如此让人着迷的特质的原因，即使这种特质可以轻而易举地表现出来。表现的困窘实际说明“对方比自己要好太多，希望对方选择自己。”这可不是一个好的推销策略。
Neediness is repulsive because we’ve evolved to recognise it as a bad signal. It’s like a fear of spiders or scorpions: a primal instinct which protects our best interests, even if we don’t understand why.
矮矬穷是令人厌恶的，因为我们已经发展到视它为不好的信号。这就像对蜘蛛或者是蝎子的恐惧一样：一种原始的保护我们最大利益的本能，尽管我们自已也不明白这是为什么。
If this strikes you as depressing and soulless, take heart.
如果这些让你低沉沮丧，毫无生气，千万不要丧失勇气。
Real life has a few extra qualities that make it less of a one-dimensional meat market. For one: all numbers can change. But most of all: everyone sees a slightly different number when they look at each other.
真正的生活还有一些其它的特征，这些特征让人们尽量从多维度做出判断。其一：所有的数字都可以改变。最重要的是：当人们看向彼此的时候，每个人所看到的数字也会不同。
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