嫉妒会毁掉你们的关系吗？

Jealousy in relationships is kinda like cinnamon on a snickerdoodle: without any, you've got no flavor at all; a little taste of it can spice

things up; but any more than just a pinch and you might just choke to death.

嫉妒在一段情感关系中是有点像食物里的肉桂：没有，可能会有点没味，放点进去它可以增加情趣，但是太多，你们双方都可能会窒息而死。

In tiny doses – say, when you take note of a stranger desperately attempting to hit on your partner to no avail -- jealousy can function as a reminder of how desirable your companion truly is.

小剂量——比如，当你注意到一个陌生人拼命地试图引诱你的伴侣却无济于事——嫉妒可以提醒我们，你的伴侣有多受欢迎，多难得。

As long as you've built a strong foundation together, tiny flashes of jealousy here and there should be harmless at worst -- at best, they can be harnessed to bring a little excitement to the relationship. Hell,  some couples even take it further with various kink scenarios, such as in cuckold roleplay.

只要你们建立了坚实的基础，微微的嫉妒火花在任何情况（即使是最坏的情况）也不会造成任何伤害。更棒的情况是，可以利用它们带来一些刺激，增进感情。

But hey, fetishes wouldn't be fetishes if they were for everyone, and most people have a much lower threshold for seeing, hearing, or knowing about their partner flirting with others. Furthermore, if you have trust issues – whether due to your own insecurities, or because of past behaviors demonstrated by your partner that give you reason to doubt his or her fidelity – jealousy can erode a romantic bond, leading to awkwardness, arguments, or worse.

但是，嘿，如果每个人都对ta如此，崇拜将不只是崇拜，你可能更容易看到，听到或者知道你的伴侣正在跟别人调情。此外,如果你们之前存在信任问题——是否由于自己的不安全感，或者因为你的伴侣过去的某些行为给了你理由怀疑他或她的忠诚——嫉妒能够侵蚀爱情，产生尴尬，争吵或者更糟。

Such problems might occur when your partner frequently exhibits excessive and unsupported signs of jealousy. In this scenario, it's important that you first carefully examine your interactions with members of the opposite sex. Are you suppressing any feelings or harboring a subconscious crush in public or in private?

这种的问题可能出现，你的伴侣经常对此表现过度和无缘无故地嫉妒。在这种情况下，重要的是你首先仔细检查自己与异性之间的互动。你有在公共场合或者私下里压抑你的感觉或者隐藏潜意识的爱意吗？

Assuming that you are not doing anything to warrant accusations of disloyalty, you can assume that your partner is overreacting out of personal insecurity. You must first address the issue directly by verbally reiterating how committed you are, and your partner must take your commitment at face value.

假设没有任何事情可以证明你有不忠，你可以假设你的伴侣是缺乏安全感而反应过度。你必须先口头重申你有多坚定，来解决这个问题，并且你的伴侣必须把你的承诺当真。如果问题仍然存在，你将不得不决定是否那个人值得在一起。

If the problem persists, you are going to have to make a decision as to whether it's worth staying with that person.However, you might also be concerned if your partner doesn't exhibit enough jealousy. Everyone deserves to feel wanted, so if you feel that your companion isn't showing an appropriate level of interest in you emotionally or physically, you should bring it to his or her attention in a calm, reasonable, loving manner. Ultimately, it might be worrisome if your fiancé doesn't flinch when you fondle a Macy's salesperson in the middle of your wedding registry appointment, but in most cases, if you've never given him a reason to be concerned about your commitment, why should he be?

然而，如果你的伴侣没有表现出足够的嫉妒，你也可能会担心。每个人都应该想要感到被在乎，所以你觉得你的伴侣在情感上和身体上并没有表现对你的出适当的兴趣，你应该平静地，合理地，以爱的方式将你带到ta的注意里。最终，当你跟梅西百货销售人员调情的时候，你的未婚夫还是无动于衷，这可能真是令人担忧了。但是大多数情况下，如果你从未给他理由担心你们之间的承诺，为什么ta要担心呢？

Finally, if the crux of the issue is your own, perhaps you get jealous when your partner talks to other guys or girls. While

no one wants their own level of commitment to go unreciprocated, remember that there's a difference between your boyfriend or girlfriend commenting that another person is attractive, and commenting that he or she wants to "ride [that person] like a pony": the former is a mere statement of opinion, while the latter is a declaration of douchebaggery. You won't (and shouldn't) be able to get your partner to stop noticing members of the opposite sex (we're biologically programmedto do so!) but you do have the right to request that her or she be respectful -- or refrain altogether from making such remarks in your presence.

最后，如果问题的关键是你自己的，也许当你的伴侣谈到其他男孩或女孩的时候你会嫉妒。没有人希望自己承诺是单方面的，记住，男人和女人评论另一个人很有吸引力是很不同的，前者仅仅是在陈述一个事实，而后者像是在宣布一个大新闻。你不能（不应该）阻止你的伴侣注意别的异性（我们生理程序本就如此设置的），但是你有权利要求ta 应该是有涵养地或者克制地。

In addressing all of these situations, communication with your partner can only help. It's also crucial for the success of any relationship. Remember to always relay your needs clearly and promptly, so as not to allow anything to fester. Opening up will encourage your partner to do the same, and such an increased flow of communication will only further establish your common dedication to one another, diluting any hints of jealousy that may have been previously plaguing your interactions.

在处理上诉所有情况，与你的伴侣沟通是很有帮助的。这也是所有关系成功的关键因素。记得清晰而及时地传达和表达你的需要，避免让任何情况变糟，恶化。你给予开放交流的模式将会鼓励你的伴侣同样这么做，这样的交流只会进一步增加你们共同对彼此的付出，稀释任何可能对你们彼此造成困扰的嫉妒！