8.6 Post By Liu Menggyue
ColorL
Paragraph from Part 2 chapter 5Texts：
Yes, that was so, that was all so. Yet he had known it all before, and it was not a new question for him, even when it was decided in the night without hesitation and consideration, as though so it must be, as though it could not possibly be otherwise.... Yes, he had known it all, and understood it all; it surely had all been settled even yesterday at the moment when he was bending over the box and pulling the jewel-cases out of it.... Yes, so it was.
‘It is because I am very ill,’ he decided grimly at last, ‘I have been worrying and fretting myself, and I don’t know what I am doing.... Yesterday and the day before yesterday and all this time I have been worrying myself.... I shall get well and I shall not worry.... But what if I don’t get well at all? Good God, how sick I am of it all!’
He walked on without resting. He had a terrible longing for some distraction, but he did not know what to do, what to attempt. A new overwhelming sensation was gaining more and more mastery over him every moment; this was an immeasurable, almost physical, repulsion for everything surrounding him, an obstinate, malignant feeling of hatred. All who met him were loathsome to him—he loathed their faces, their movements, their gestures. If anyone had addressed him, he felt that he might have spat at him or bitten him.
Response：
Killing of those two ladies now brought much more suffering than he previous assumed to him. This is due to his perception that murdering is evilness. Bearing he commit this crime in mind ,he felt increasingly heart-wrenching. To protect himself, he developed an excuse that he was sick to reduce the conviction and stress. Furthermore, his self-absorbed personality deepen his anxiety and concert that other people will scorn him by illusion. Here, we can conclude that the largest punishment for a person is the torment of heart(mind) ,which has far more influence than the loss of materials or anything that are perishable.
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