纽约客小说：《第一任丈夫》
内容简介：
她奋不顾身地爱过她的前夫。她有节制地爱着现在的丈夫。她爱那个小男孩，他那么懂事、那么可爱，他降生在前夫离开她的那一年，正好在那个时候出现在她面前让她倾注爱，而他也爱她。
Lovey's first husband had been forty-five, at the tail end of his fruitful handsomeness, when she married him but still moving through the world with the confidence of a man who'd bedded a lot of women, all but the first few younger than him; he was a serial seducer. Lovey had been his third wife; perhaps she could have predicted that she would not succeed where two others had failed, but that was the nature of love, and of youth, and the combination, youthful love.
正文：
“拉维，”她丈夫以他一贯的方式轻声说，“找你的。”凌晨两点钟，天鹅绒般绵密的黑暗，她睡得死沉，电话铃声在梦里变为火警警报；梦中的她不情愿地走出一栋陌生的大楼，还没有清醒过来，飘荡在某个混混沌沌的空间。大楼里面全是光身子的人，她还想回去参加他们放荡的派对。“拉维。”她丈夫又叫她，他的执著令她火冒三丈，她想跑回那栋着火的大楼却被迫回应他的呼唤。“拉维。”他叫了第三次，然后“啪”的一声灯亮了。
“Lovey,” her husband said gently, which was his way. “It’s for you.” The velvet blackness of 2 a.m., of nearly death-deep sleep: the ringing telephone had been a fire alarm in her dream; reluctantly, she’d exited an unfamiliar building but not awakened, hovering in some liminal space. The building was filled with naked bodies, and she wished to return to them and their naughty party. “Lovey,” her husband said again, and she was livid with him, with his dull insistence, forcing her to attend to him when what she wanted to do was run back inside the burning building. “Lovey,” he said a third time, and then the light snapped on.
电话是伯纳蒂特打来的。她以前的继女伯纳蒂特，前夫最令人头疼的小女儿，在电话里忙不迭地道着歉，一如往常。
On the phone was Bernadette, her former stepdaughter. Her ex-husband’s youngest and most difficult girl, who was busy apologizing, as usual.
“真是对不起，可他出去喝酒了，”伯纳蒂特说的是她那个失职的丈夫，“我得在出事之前找到他。我是说，他可遭不住再进监狱了。”
“I’m so sorry, but he’s been drinking,” Bernadette was saying of her delinquent husband. “I need to find him before something happens. I mean, he can’t afford to get arrested again.”
“我陪你去，你等我二十分钟。”
“I can be there in twenty minutes.”
“真的？对不起，不过我能带孩子们去你那儿吗？要是他回了家，我不想让孩子见到他。你知道，有孩子在，真是很难跟他谈。甚至会打起来，很有可能就打起来了。天呐，我真他妈的抱歉，拉维……”
“Actually? I’m sorry, but could I bring the kids to you? If he comes home, I don’t want them to see him. You know, it’s just so hard to have a conversation with kids around. Or a fight, for that matter, which is probably what’s going to happen. God, I’m really so fucking sorry, Lovey. . . .”
“带他们过来吧，没关系的——你用不着担心这个。”睡意和梦境皆尽散去，还有前夫的影像，她突然意识到，梦中那栋燃烧的建筑里，她握着的是他的手。他也光着身子吗？大庭广众下赤身裸体，那不像他会干的事情。
“Bring them, please, it’s fine—you should never worry about that.” Sleep and dreams had fallen away, along with, she suddenly realized, her first husband, whose hand she’d been holding in the burning building. Had he been nude, too? That wouldn’t have been like him, naked in public.
“我带着他们在车上了，”伯纳蒂特说，“我在想我可以从中央车站开始找，看看他是不是瘫在哪张吧椅上。请别告诉爸爸，好吗？我是说，他已经认定我是个彻头彻尾的混账了，而且他已经够讨厌亚戎的了。还有，他还会跟姐姐们说。”说着她就大哭起来。可怜的伯纳蒂特。这个姑娘有什么时候不悲惨的吗？从小就在友情中屡屡受伤，永远忍受着轻忽和怠慢，抑或是不加掩饰的残酷，她就像一条总是挨打的忠诚小狗。
“I’m already in the car with them,” Bernadette said. “I was thinking I could start on Central and just see if he’s parked on some barstool or other. Please don’t tell Dad, O.K.? I mean, he already thinks I’m a total fuckup and he hates Aaron enough. Plus, he’ll tell my sisters.” And then she was crying. Poor Bernadette. Had the girl ever not been miserable? Even as a child, she had cultivated hurtful friendships, had forever been suffering slights or neglect or flat-out cruelty, this girl like a loyal beaten dog.
“宝贝，我绝对不会告诉你爸爸的。我们都不联系。带孩子们过来吧。我准备好了。放心。”
“Honey, I would never tell your dad. We’re not exactly on speaking terms. Bring the kids. I’m up. Don’t worry.”
“真的吗？”伯纳蒂特说，“我在你家车道上了。天呐，拉维，我实在是非常抱歉！”
“Actually?” Bernadette said. “I’m in your driveway. God, Lovey, I’m really, really sorry!”
七岁的男孩拿着尿片包，还背着一个背包，被重负压得歪歪倒倒；他妈妈把两个儿童椅搬进屋子，儿童椅里睡着他的两个妹妹。“天，闻起来像是下雪了！这时节不常下雪吧？我用了吸奶器。”伯纳蒂特小声解释道。“把奶拿给拉维。”她对卡莱布说。男孩拿出一对温吞吞的黄色保鲜袋。对付母乳的东西总是有点儿让人讨厌。如果拉维自己有小孩，也许就不会这么觉得了。
The seven-year-old carried the diaper bag and a backpack, tilted sideways under the load, while his mother brought in the two car seats holding his sleeping sisters. “God, it smells like snow out there! How often does that happen at this time of year? I pumped,” Bernadette explained in a whisper. “Give Lovey the breast milk,” she told Caleb. The boy produced a pair of tepid yellowish Baggies. There was always something a little unsavory about dealing with breast milk. Maybe if Lovey had had her own babies she wouldn’t have felt this way.
儿童椅放在起居室的地毯上，两个女孩还睡在上面，这样好像不妥当，人躺在椅子上睡觉，特别是那个三岁的小姑娘，她大大的脑袋不自然地垂着，这样会导致严重的颈部疼痛；况且，小孩们这样睡着醒来之后肯定要大声嚷嚷。
The girls were left in their car seats on the living-room rug, which seemed wrong, somehow, people lashed into chairs, especially the three-year-old, whose big head looked unnaturally perpendicular in a way that would lead to a terrible neck ache. On the other hand, the girls were sure to scream if wakened.
伯纳蒂特眯眼看着手机，嘴唇微微动着在读什么信息。“该死，他跟兰斯在一起——这可有得折腾了。这样，我想她会乖乖的，一直到大概四点钟？”她伸手摸摸两个保鲜袋，“到时候你给她热一瓶奶喝了就好。至于卡莱布，我觉得他不会去睡觉，但他可以看动画片，对吧？把声音关掉？宝贝，你愿意看看没声音的动画片、让拉维回去睡觉吗？”
Bernadette was squinting at her cell phone, lips moving as she read something there. “Shit, he’s with Lance—that can’t end well. So I think she’ll be good till maybe, like, four?” She pressed her hand into each breast, checking. “You could just nuke a bottle for her then. And Caleb—I don’t think he’ll sleep, but he could watch Looney Tunes, maybe? With no sound? Will you watch Looney Tunes on mute so Lovey can go back to bed, honey?”
“别担心我们，”拉维说，“我们玩强手棋。”拉维是唯一一个放纵卡莱布痴迷强手棋的人。这孩子是她的第一个孙辈，在她与他祖父离婚的那一年出生，那年她还不到三十七岁——年轻得远远不能叫祖母！一起出门她经常被误认为他母亲，她允许卡莱布叫她的昵称拉维，而不是艾芙琳。卡莱布是个严肃的男孩子，在自己能说出完整句子之前从未开口说话。他的两个妹妹先后出生，他坦率地表示自己不喜欢他们。“你的小妹妹怎么样？”有人会这样问。“糟透了。”他这样回答。他那么容易受到感情上的伤害，这点像他母亲，一个太过脆弱的孩子，伤痕累累。他也不轻易露出笑容。
“Don’t worry about us,” Lovey said. “We’ll play Monotony.” Lovey was the only person who would indulge Caleb’s fondness for Monopoly. The boy had been her first grandchild, born the year she divorced his grandfather, when she was a mere thirty-seven—far too young to be called Grandma! In public she was often mistaken for his mother, and it was for Caleb that she’d come up with an acceptable nickname, Lovey, to take the place of Evelyn. He was a serious boy, a boy who hadn’t spoken until he could do so in complete sentences, who’d said, quite frankly, after the birth of each of his sisters, that he did not like them. “How’s your new sister?” somebody would ask. “Terrible,” he’d reply. His feelings were so readily hurt. He was like his mother that way, a child too tender, who bruised. Nor did he laugh easily.
“求你别觉得我是个混帐东西，”伯纳蒂特一边走向门口一边恳求道，“还有，替我转告威廉，很抱歉吵醒了他。卡莱布，你要听话。我爱你。”
“Please don’t think I’m a fuckup,” Bernadette pleaded as she whirled her way toward the door. “And tell William I’m sorry I woke him. Be good, Caleb. I love you.”
卡莱布已经摆出强手棋棋盘，数着钞票，把机会卡片堆成一摞。他长得像他祖父，也就是拉维的第一任丈夫——同样的棕红色头发、棕色的大眼睛和饱满的嘴唇。她的第一任丈夫与她成婚时已经四十五岁，那种饱满的英俊潇洒已近尾声，却仍然满怀自信地穿越世界；这自信属于一个跟很多女人上过床的男人，他睡过的多是比他年轻的女人，除去最开始的几个年长女性——那时候他还是新手，还在接受恋爱教育呢。他一直是个拈花惹草的男人。拉维是他的第三任妻子，也许她能够预想到自己无法在前两任失败的地方取得成功，然而那是爱情的秉性、年轻人的秉性，两者相结合，年轻人的爱情——使你自傲、固执，拒绝从别人身上吸取教训。
Caleb was already laying out the game board, counting money, and stacking up the Chance cards. He looked like his grandfather, Lovey’s first husband—the same thick copper-colored hair, the large brown eyes and plush lips. Her first husband had been forty-five, at the tail end of his fruitful handsomeness, when she married him but still moving through the world with the confidence of a man who’d bedded a lot of women, all but the first few—when he was a beginner, on the receiving end of a romantic education—younger than him; he was a serial seducer. Lovey had been his third wife; perhaps she could have predicted that she would not succeed where two others had failed, but that was the nature of love, and of youth, and the combination, youthful love—they made you arrogant, or stubborn, impervious to the lessons of others.
京公网安备 11010802032529号