如何教给孩子聪明地用钱

My children haven't quite figured out money yet, which makes sense. The eldest of the three is only four years old.

我的三个孩子现在还不太明白钱是怎么回事，这也很正常。三个孩子中最大的也才刚刚4岁。

The older two have little banks that they use to stash cash from relatives, and they recently took a trip to the toy aisle of Wal-Mart (WMT) with their grandmother. They saw what they could get by pooling the fives she gave them for Valentine's Day. And so, someday soon, their father and I will need to start talking with them about money. And we need to get our story straight.

两个大的孩子都有自己的小储钱罐，用来存放亲戚们给的零钱。最近，他们跟着奶奶去了趟沃尔玛（Wal-Mart）超市的玩具区，因为情人节时奶奶给了他们每人5美元，他们想看看把钱合起来能买些什么玩具。因此，在不久的将来，我和孩子的爸爸就有必要开始和他们谈谈钱了，而且我们必须讲明白。

I can't say I'm looking forward to these discussions. Even though I've spent the past few years writing about money, I still find this a fraught question. My first thought was that I want my kids to "know the value of a dollar" -- to appreciate money in the same way their father and I do. Who knows what gales our economy will face in the next decades? I should teach them to squirrel away each dollar so they can hunker away from the wind at the door.

对于这样的谈话，我谈不上有什么期待。虽然这些年来，我一直在写和钱有关的文章，但这个问题依然让我踌躇。起初我的想法是，要让孩子们“知道每1美元的价值”——珍惜金钱，就像他们的爸爸和我一样。谁知道未来十年美国经济还会遭遇什么样的风暴呢？我应当教会他们，有点钱就存起来，以备不时之需。

But the more I pondered this, the more I realized that, not only is teaching squirrel behavior impossible, I'm not sure it's desirable to pass along all my money attitudes. In an uncertain world, I'm hoping I can teach my kids to think in terms of abundance alongside the usual money worry -- that there's never enough. I want to teach them to be smart, not wasteful or tight, and all this suggests a tough line to walk with my little ones.

但在这个问题上我想得越多，就越发意识到（以我们目前的状况）要教会他们节俭是不可能的，而且我也不太确定是否应该将我所有的金钱观原原本本地教给他们。现在经济前景充满着不确定性，我希望孩子们在思考金钱时能秉着富足的态度，但也要有一份危机感——钱再多，也是不够的。我想教他们要聪明地用钱，不要浪费，也不要吝啬，但这些分寸把握之微妙，很难和孩子们讲清楚并让他们付诸实践。

When I first started looking into the topic of kids and money, I assumed that there must be lots of research on allowances, financial education, and the like. Childrearing isn't a new phenomenon. But as veteran parents have likely discovered, there are many gurus touting different theories, and many of these ideas aren't based on any research at all.

当我开始研究孩子和钱这个话题时，我以为关于零花钱、理财教育等肯定已有很多的研究。毕竟育儿又不是什么新鲜事。但有经验的父母们可能已经发现，专家们宣扬的种种理论莫衷一是，其中很多甚至根本就没有研究作为基础。

In terms of what's been published in peer-reviewed journals, it looks like giving an allowance that's conditional on chores seems to work best, but not giving an allowance at all has a lot going for it too.

从同行评审期刊刊登的文章来看，以做家务活为条件给零花钱看来是效果最好的做法，但根本不给零花钱的方法也很普遍。

Though the theories varied, all the gurus talk of the importance of conveying your money philosophy to your kids.

尽管众说纷纭，但所有专家都谈到了将父辈的金钱观传授给子女的重要性。

This is where I hit a rough patch. What is my money philosophy?

这正是我感到困难的地方。我的金钱观是什么呢？

I know where my "knowing the value of a dollar" mindset came from. I was born into a coupon-clipping household. My parents eventually did quite well, but growing up, I felt there was a reason I needed to wait for Christmas and birthdays if I wanted something. No one was sending me to Africa to volunteer so I could write a college essay about it; I wrote my college essays in the parking lot of Fazoli's Italian restaurant on my 15-minute "smoke" breaks. Standing on your feet all day in exchange for sub-$5/hour paychecks will give you a healthy respect for exactly what it can take to earn a buck.

“知道每1美元的价值”，我的这种观念来自于我的家庭，我的家人经常用优惠券购物。我的父母后来生活得不错，但成长过程中如果我想要什么东西，我总要等到圣诞节或生日。没人把我送到非洲做志愿者，所以我的大学论文也不是这类选题；我的大学论文都是在意大利餐馆Fazoli's打工期间利用15分钟的“吸烟休息”时间在停车场上写出来的。站一整天换取每小时不到5美元的报酬，会让你对赚每一元钱可能要付出的努力都心怀必要的敬意。

Fast-forward 15 years. Thankfully, I have moved beyond the garlic butter ladling days. I feel incredibly lucky for the life I can give my children. But when it comes to kids and money, a certain amount of comfort can muddle everything up.

十五年一晃而过。值得庆幸的是我已远离了整日抹蒜香黄油的日子。我觉得很幸运，如今我能给孩子们提供较好的生活。但谈到孩子和钱，自我感觉良好只会把事情搞得一团糟。

When I was at Barnes & Noble with my eldest child one Saturday not long ago, he found a display of wooden Thomas & Friends toy trains and asked me for one that he was missing from his collection. Despite the $21.99 price tag, I complied. Then, having bought Gordon the Express Engine in haste, I repented at leisure, fretting that I was spoiling my child. He wouldn't know the value of a dollar! That train would have taken five hours of breadstick buttering at Fazoli's to earn.

前不久的一个周六，我和最大的孩子一起去逛巴诺书店（Barnes & Noble）。他看到了展示区的“托马斯和朋友们”（Thomas & Friends），那是一套木质玩具火车，其中有一列是他还没有的，他想让我买。虽然标价21.99美元，我还是立刻答应了他的要求，很快买下了那个高登快速火车头（Gordon the Express Engine）。但过后，闲下来想起这件事时，我有点后悔，担心宠坏了孩子。他还不懂得1美元的价值呢！买这个火车头的钱，是当年我在Fazoli's给面包抹五个小时的黄油才能赚到的工资。

Then I remembered that my husband, brother, and I had spent much more than $21.99 on drinks the night before, because we were having fun. Why can't my kid have his fun, too?

然后，我想到了头一天晚上我的丈夫、兄弟和我因为高兴，喝酒助兴，花费远远超出了21.99美元。为什么不能让我的孩子也开心一下？

The hard truth is that unless I'm willing to impose austerity on all of us -- an austerity we have worked hard to avoid -- there is just no way to teach my kids the same flintiness that once manifested itself in my boiling chicken bones to make soup stock to save the $1.50 a can. If I now buy name brand Ziploc bags, my kids will learn to buy Ziploc bags, rather than the generic kind.

事实或许让人难以接受，但除非我愿意让我们大家都过清苦的日子（但我们努力工作不正是为了过得好一点吗？），否则根本就没办法教孩子和我一样的节俭，当年我为了省下每罐鸡汤1.5美元的钱，曾经自己炖鸡骨头做高汤。如果我现在买的是密保诺（Ziploc）的品牌保鲜袋，孩子们将来也会买密保诺保鲜袋，而不是普通保鲜袋。

But that's not all bad, because I'm not sure that my temperamental cheapness is as noble a trait, overall, as much personal finance literature makes it out to be. It has its upside: I've never had any debt beyond a mortgage. But it has its downsides, too. I give less generously than I would like, to charity and with gifts.

不过，这也不全是坏事，我不知道我能省就省的观念，究竟是因为节俭是一个优秀品质，还是因为看多了个人理财资料。它有它的好处：我除了按揭贷款外从未有过其他债务。但也有弊端，我在慈善捐款和礼物馈赠方面总是有所节制。

I put off hiring as much childcare as we needed, because it was expensive, but that made it harder to build my career, and put a lot of strain on my marriage. I have been reluctant to invest in the business side of my work, by hiring assistants or paying for publicity, because I tell myself I could "save" money by doing it myself. Except then it gets done badly or (more often) doesn't get done.

由于请人照看孩子的费用不菲，在请人方面我总是能拖就拖，结果导致我无法全身心追求职业发展，还给我们的婚姻带来了很大的压力。我也不愿在我的事业方面进行投资，比如雇几个助手或进行付费宣传，因为我总是告诉自己，我自己做，就可以把钱省下来。可是有时事情做得并不如意，更多情况下根本就没做。

I want to teach my children that frugality is not a virtue in its own right, divorced from any larger goal. Money is powerful not because of anything inherent in these numbers, but because of what it can do. Sometimes we have to take risks, and sometimes we should invest in things that matter.

我想告诉孩子们，如果不是为了实现更大的目标，为节省而节省并不是一项美德。金钱具有强大的力量，但并不是因为数目，而是因为金钱能做到很多事情。有时候，我们必须要承担风险，有时候面对重要的事情该花就得花。

That can include the happiness of our children. I'm not sure what forces will shape the economy they'll eventually work in. You have to plan for the future, but if the future is unknowable, there is something to be said for enjoying today as well. I'm trying to figure out the right balance between squirreling and profligacy -- that magic point where money is stripped of the drama, and becomes a tool for building the lives we want. Too bad that's hard to teach in the toy aisle.

其中也包括孩子们的快乐。我不确定将来等他们工作时，决定经济的因素是什么。必须得为未来做好计划，但如果未来不可知，也可以适当享受现在。我试图在省吃俭用和铺张浪费之间找到适当的平衡点——使金钱褪去浮华，成为我们实现人生梦想的工具。可惜的是这个道理很难在玩具区给孩子讲明白。