怎样克服羞涩和社交焦虑症

Shyness and social anxiety are usually the result of an overly excited amygdala (a portion of the brain that receives stimulation based on your surroundings). Individuals who are shy or socially anxious typically have an amygdala that is extremely sensitive (in part due to their genetics, in part due to the way they were raised).

害羞和社交焦虑症通常都是杏仁核过度兴奋造成的现象，而杏仁核则是一种根据环境接收刺激的大脑组织。害羞或有社交焦虑症的人，杏仁核一般都非常敏感——这一方面跟基因有关，另一方面则归因于他们的成长经历。

Shy or socially anxious individuals perceive unknown situations as highly threatening.

在害羞或社交焦虑的人看来，未知环境都是非常危险的。

This feeling of being “threatened” would be beneficial if you were being chased by a lion; causing your mind to focus solely on what is critical to save your life. However, your mind “going blank” at a dinner party or when your boss walks in your office is not very beneficial.

当你被一头狮子追捕时，这种警惕感会十分有利，能让你一门心思想方设法逃命。但是，在宴会上或老板走进你办公室时，如果你的大脑还是会“一片空白”，那就不好了。

So with that, let s discuss 12 ways to overcome shyness and social anxiety.

所以，我们来看看下面这12个克服害羞和社交焦虑症的方法吧。

12 Steps to Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxiety

12步克服羞涩和社交焦虑症：

1. Reality Check

认清事实

Step number one is to recognize what is taking place chemically in your brain when you re feeling anxious or shy.

第一步就是要弄清楚当你感到紧张或害羞时，大脑会发生怎样的化学变化。

You are not abnormal; your brain is just “unusually” sensitive to new stimuli, causing you to proceed with extreme caution usually “unnecessary caution.” Just knowing this will help you rationalize what s going on and will help relax you in future situations.

你没有“不正常”：只不过你的大脑对新刺激“格外”敏感罢了，以至于你表现得特别谨慎——一般都是些“不必要的谨慎”。认识到这一点有助于你理性面对正在发生的事情，进而在以后环境中做到自如放松。

No need to become shy or anxious, just tell yourself that it s just some chemicals and cells reacting based on a perceived threat that s not really there no need to panic (ignore the racing heart and sweaty palms) just calm down and proceed intelligently.

没必要害羞或焦虑，你只要告诉自己：这些不过是假想危险引发的化学与细胞反应罢了。也没必要惊慌，别去管那加速的心跳和冒汗的手心，尝试镇静下来并机智应对。

2. Don t Ponder on Negative Thoughts

不要陷入消极思维

When you give a presentation there s always three presentations involved: There s the presentation you planned on giving, there s the presentation you actually gave, and then there s the presentation you wish you gave.

如果你要作报告，那么报告无非就三种形式：你正在发布的报告、你已经发布的报告，以及你打算发布的报告。

When you focus on what you could have done better, when you focus on the negative, you create a cycle of negativity. After you leave a meeting, or a dinner party, or a social gathering, don t ponder on how you could have been “better.” Don t think, “Why did I say that?”

当你一味想着本可以做得更好时，当你只看到消极方面时，你就会形成消极循环模式。所以，会议、派对或集会结束后，请不要纠结自己本可以表现得“更出色”，也不要懊恼“刚才我干嘛要那样说?”。

Everyone says something foolish from time-to-time, however, focusing on negativity will lead you to believe that you are a person who says the wrong things at social gatherings; that belief will manifest itself every time. Recognize that everyone says something foolish from time-to-time; don t ponder, move on.

每个人难免都会说些蠢话，如果你只看到消极面，渐渐就会真的以为自己在社交时只会说错话;而且，这种想法每次都会应验。请记住：每个人偶尔都会说些蠢话。所以，不要纠结，该干啥就干啥去吧。

3. No Pressure

不要有压力

Don t feel pressure to be interesting, entertaining, or talkative. Just be your normal-natural self. It s the pressure to be like someone else that enhances social anxiety and shyness.

不要为了表现得风趣、讨人喜欢或健谈而感到紧张不安。做回你平常的样子就行。模仿别人的压力会加剧社交焦虑感和羞涩。

You have survived participating in conversations your entire life. Your next conversation in a group is just one more conversation you are not required to be the life of the party. Just be yourself and speak your mind when you have something to say and if you don t have anything to say no pressure; “chill out” and have fun.

你这辈子一直就是在与人谈话中成长过来的。接下来在小组中的发言实质上也是谈话而已——你又不一定非得成为派对的活跃分子啊。你只要做好自己，有话就说、无话则沉默;不要紧张，放松点吧。

4. Don t Assume

别去假想

Don t assume that people are judging you. Most people are primarily concerned about themselves and how they come across; they don t have time to be consumed by your behavior. Remember this, if you don t remember anything else in this article: Everyone is awkward at times!

别去假想其他人怎么看你。多数人通常只会考虑自身和自己的遭遇，没人有时间来关心你如何如何。要是这篇文章没能给你留下什么印象，那么请记住这句话：有时每个人都很难相处!

When having conversations, every single person at one time or another does or says something that s a little awkward. Don t feel that awkward situations or strange silences are your fault alone. Don t take credit for all the negatives in a conversation. Awkward things will happen, there will be silences, that s okay; it s perfectly normal, don t think it s not and keep on being yourself your best self.

交谈时，每个人间或都会说出难堪的话来。不要一厢情愿地以为是你造成了这种尴尬的处境或别扭的沉默。不要把谈话的失败全都怪罪到自己身上。尴尬时常发生，沉默也总是出现，没什么大不了的;这很正常，不要少见多怪——做好你自己就行啦。

5. Don t Panic Pause

不要慌张——稍作停顿

There s no need to panic in social situations. If someone asks you a question, just pause. Think about the question and then answer it appropriately. Most socially anxious or shy individuals react to questions. They feel the need to answer a question immediately, as soon as the final word leaves the mouth of the other person; they feel obligated to start speaking not necessary.

社交场合无需慌张。要是有人向你发问，那就先停顿一下，想清楚后再恰当回答对方。大部分社交焦虑或害羞的人总是立刻回答问题。他们觉得只要对方话刚说完，就该作出回答;他们认为谈话是一种“义务”——其实完全没必要这样。

You never want to react to a question; you always want to respond, after you pause.

你不需要立即回应提问，你只需在停顿之后回答提问。

When you do this, you will sound more thoughtful, more insightful, and you will have given more deliberate thought to what you re about to say. You will appear to have “executive presence.”

当你这样做时，你听上去会更有想法和见解，你的想法会显得更成熟、更具执行力。

The need to respond right away shows that a person isn t comfortable with silence. It s usually the least “powerful” person in a conversation who doesn t want there to be silence, but silence is okay. It shows that you are comfortable in your skin.

立即回应则显得一个人不习惯沉默。通常，谈话中最没有气场的人也最不习惯沉默，其实沉默也没什么。它说明你能够做到悠然自若。

So learn to pause, never panic! Gather your thoughts, avoid saying “um” and answer like the intelligent person that you are.

所以，学会停顿，不要慌张!整理好思绪，改掉“嗯啊”，像机智的人那样去回答问题吧。