为私事请假时如何把握分寸？

With summer vacations ending, you may feel there’s no longer an acceptable reason to be away from work. Can you afford to stay home with a sick child or work from home while supervising a contractor now that the season for time off has ended?

暑假即将结束，你可能感觉以后再也没有可以接受的请假理由了。鉴于最适合请假的季节已经结束，你还能在需要对承包商进行监督的关键时刻，留在家里照顾生病的孩子或者在家办公吗？

The answer is yes. Workplace flexibility is increasingly important to your colleagues and supervisors. In fact, it was ranked as the most important perk (after cash and benefits) in an EY survey last year. Thirty-four percent of men and 30% of women reported they’d go so far as to quit their job if they weren’t offered day-to-day flexibility.

答案的肯定的。对于你的同事和上司来说，工作场所的灵活性正变得越来越重要。事实上，安永会计师事务所（Ernst & Young）去年进行的一项调查显示，工作场所的灵活性被视为最重要的福利（仅次于现金和补贴）。34%的男性和30%的女性表示，如果某项工作不能提供日常工作场所的灵活性，他们甚至可能会考虑辞职。

Companies are responding to this demand: between 2008 and 2014, more employers surveyed by the Families and Work Institute allowed employees to occasionally work from home (from 50% to 67%), control their breaks (from 84% to 92%), control overtime hours (from 27% to 45%), and take time off during the workday for personal needs (from 73% to 82%).

许多公司也在迎合这种需求：家庭与工作协会（Families and Work Institute）的调查显示，从2008年到2014年，越来越多的雇主允许员工偶尔在家办公（从50%增加到67%）、控制休息时间（从84%增加到92%）、控制加班时间（从27%增加到45%），因个人需要在工作时间请假（从73%增加到82%）。

But figuring out when to disclose a personal obligation that takes you away from work—and how much detail to give—isn’t always simple. “The reality is that every work environment has a big culture and then there are subcultures. Any worker needs to test it,” says KarynTwaronite, EY Americas global diversity and inclusiveness officer and a partner at Ernst & Young.

但要弄清楚在什么时候披露需要请假的私人事务，以及透漏多少细节，并不是件简单的事情。安永美洲区人才战略官卡瑞恩•特瓦罗尼特表示：“事实上，每一个工作环境都有一个大文化背景，此外还有一些亚文化背景。员工必须对其进行测试。”

So, why should you share anything about a family commitment that takes you away from work? Why not just take the time you need but not explain?

但是，对于自己不得不请假去照顾的家庭义务，我们为什么要告知他人呢？为什么不能直接请假，不做任何解释？

First, if you’re comfortable talking about a personal commitment, you will contribute to building a culture in which employees’ work-life boundaries are respected and flexibility is used.

首先，如果你愿意谈论个人事务，你会帮助建立一种尊重员工工作和生活界限，并具有灵活性的团队文化。

Kim Lubel, 50, chairman and chief executive of convenience retailer CST Brands, makes a point of bringing her children to work events and talking about carpool or other family obligations. “There are lots of other folks who are trying to figure out if it’s okay or not, and I want them to know it’s okay,” says Lubel. “If you have to pretend like your life outside your 10 hours at the office doesn’t exist, you’re going to be miserable in the long run.”

50岁的吉姆•鲁贝尔是连锁便利店CST Brands的董事长兼首席执行官。她特别注意带孩子出席公司的活动，谈论拼车或其他家庭义务。鲁贝尔说道：“有许多人还不清楚这么做是否合适，而我希望用行动告诉他们，这样做是可以的。如果你要假装10小时工作之外的生活是不存在的，长此以往你会陷入悲惨的境地。”

Second, if you don’t share anything about your personal life—or ask for help when you need it—you will miss the chance to build authentic connections at work.

其次，如果你不分享自己的个人生活，或在有需要的时候不请求帮助，你会错过在工作中建立可靠人脉的机会。

“If you go through your life helping other people, then when you need it, they’ll be there for you,” says Brian M. Wong, 44, a partner at law firm Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman in San Francisco. “They can’t be there for you if you’re not sharing what’s going on.”

44岁的布莱恩•M•王说道：“如果你在生活中帮助其他人，当你有需要的时候，他们也会愿意帮助你。但如果你不分享自己的生活，没有人会来帮助你。”王是旧金山普盈律师事务所（Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman）的合伙人。

That doesn’t mean you tell everyone everything about your personal life and challenges. Start small when disclosing commitments, and gauge the receptivity of the person you’re telling. If there’s tension, keep it more professional in the future.

当然，这并不意味，你要把和你个人生活有关的所有事情统统告诉别人。先透露一小部分，观察对方的接受程度。如果气氛有点紧张，将来可以采取更职业的方式。

“I recommend putting your toe in the water and then putting your foot in the water next,” Twaronite says. “Sometimes people just want to know, ‘Great, I accomplished my personal thing and I also got the job done.’ ”

特瓦罗尼特表示：“我建议先试探一下对方的反应，然后再说明自己的情况。有时候，人们只是想知道，你既解决了私事，也完成了工作。”

When Lubel’s now-13 year old son was an infant, her then-employer Valero was going through a crazy transition that required her to travel almost weekly. She brought her breast pump on the airplane every time, but never broached the subject with her colleagues. “The guys never asked me about it and I never brought it up,” she recalls. “It’s an uncomfortable conversation.”

当鲁贝尔现在13岁的儿子还是个婴儿的时候，她当时的雇主瓦莱罗能源公司（Valero）正在经历一场令人疯狂的转型，几乎需要她每周出差。她每次都会带着吸奶器坐飞机，但却从未跟同事提到自己的情况。她回忆称：“那些人从来没有问过我这件事，而我也没有主动提出。这种对话让人感觉不舒服。”

Wong says that he shares personal information with clients or colleagues he knows are receptive but keeps to business with those who prefer that style. “It’s knowing when you need to be transparent,” he says. “Sometimes you can just say, ‘I have a meeting.’ ”

王表示，他会与那些能够接受这种话题的客户或同事分享个人信息，而对于喜欢公事公办的人，他也用相同的方式应对。他说道：“关键是要知道何时采取坦率的态度。有时候你只需说：‘我要参加一个会议。’”

When he and his husband adopted their five-year old son, Damien, they had to appear in court and take time away from work at short notice. With clients Wong has known for 10 or 15 years, he could say he was taking two days off to be interviewed by social services or spending the day in court for adoption proceedings. With others, he simply said he wasn’t available.

在收养5岁大的儿子达米安时，王和他的丈夫必须在接到通知后立刻请假前往法院。对于相交10年或15年的客户，王会告诉他们，他要请两天假，接受社会服务人员的面谈，或者要去法院办理收养手续。对于其他人，他只会告诉他们自己没有空。

Above all, don’t let personal obligations affect your ability to do your work. Indeed, that may be the best way to broach a commitment. Instead of saying, “I need the morning off to train for an upcoming marathon,” begin with explaining that all your projects are on track.

但最重要的是，不能因为个人事务影响完成工作的能力。事实上，提出个人事务最好的方式，或许是首先解释自己负责的所有项目均已步入正轨，而不是一开始便说：“我上午要请假，为即将举办的马拉松进行训练。”

“Performance comes first,” Twaronite says. “If you’ve proven yourself in results, you will have a bigger voice. You’ll have the ability to flex your muscles and be more transparent.”

特瓦罗尼特说道：“工作绩效要放在首位。如果你用结果证明了自己，你便拥有了更大的发言权。只要你能展示出自己的实力，也就可以在私人事务上更加坦率。”